Wednesday, March 11, 2015

The Bravest of the Brave...



I have five children. None of them were born via csection. Honestly, I cannot begin to imagine what it must be like to have a surprise abdominal surgery instead of the natural, vaginal birth I had planned. As a professional I have seen it happen. A mom in the midst of her labor, surfing the waves of contractions, never progressing, or baby not descending. Suddenly, anesthesia comes in, an epidural is placed, dad is handed scrubs, a hat, a mask, some booties for his shoes and mom is wheeled down the hall to the OR. She is moved from her labor bed to a surgical table by the staff, who are also wearing hats and masks. Even the staff she has met, now look unfamiliar. The room is cold and the lights are bright. I look at her, I see a single tear slip down her cheek.

All I can say to her is I trust the process. I trust in birth. I trust in your body's innate ability to know what will keep YOUR baby safe.


 I have seen inconsistent labor patterns, where the contractions never become consistent. I have seen mothers go through very intense contractions, that should be productive.....but for some reason the baby will not drop into the pelvis or go under the pubic bone....the cervix will not dilate. The reason is that the process is trustworthy, if we choose to listen.

I'm writing this because although I see natural birth over 90% of the time in my practice, I am always listening, learning, and watching. My educator is the body and the baby that I am there to support. If I choose to bring an agenda into the space, I will not see or hear the signs as clearly....so I leave any and all assumptions at the door. You see, before our babies are even born trust is the protector, the savior, the lover, the truth.....It is definitive.

I have  held many hands under the blue surgical covers during a C-section; wiped my share of tears. I  want everyone to know what I have seen in the OR,  I want to scream it from the rooftops..... There behind the OR  double doors.... I have seen true courage. The bravest of the brave.

I have been witness to mothers becoming mothers on an unexpected path and putting all their trust
 in another human being. Motherhood to me is such a courageous adventure. We never know what to expect with childbirth, it is incredibly unpredictable.....an initiation into motherhood.

The reason I decided to write this is because I want mothers who experienced a detour on their birth plan to know that we cannot be promoters of trusting birth, your body, and your baby; if we only trust the process that we expect.....If we truly trust the process, we have to pay attention to all the signs along the way, enlist people to join us on our journey who will support us, and always listen to our body and our baby. People that we trust and who we know trust birth, however it unfolds.

True courage comes when we must face what was not in the plan, strength in motherhood comes from following your heart and  making decisions for the love of another....and that love is like no other and is not made less by the method of delivery.  Wear your belly badge proud, sweet mamas, and know that I see you. I see your strength. You truly are the bravest of the BRAVE.



*photo credit Kathryn Krueger

5 comments:

  1. I read this WAY differently a year ago, 4 months after my birth plan went completely against everything I had in mind for it to be. Thanks for sharing again! I read it with healing eyes today and still shed tears but I am in a better place to see it differently this read, so thank you for that! -Lisa

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  2. In tears as I read this. It's hard not to feel cheated, and discouraged and like your body failed you when you don't get the birth that you want, but reading this makes me feel a little better about it. So thankful you were there every step of the way. -Melinda

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  3. I am reading this after being on both sides of delivery. My first birth experience ended in a c-section. I came in to be induced at 41 weeks after no progression. Shortly after the pitocin started a sonogram showed her breech. We went from settling in for a long day to the next available OR. There was no time to process, discuss options or anything. Although I had a healthy baby and a smooth recovery I grieved never knowing what my body could do. Now, on the other side of my VBAC delivery, I have more peace and am just grateful all of my children came into this world healthy and safe. I'm proud of my body for recovering from all the above.

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  4. Thank you for such sweet words. You know the first was hard for me, but baby's safety comes first. I came back determined for vaginal with my second. Yet again, some things are not meant to be. Many tears were shed, but with amazing support, I absolutely love his birth story. Thank you for being there with us and for us.

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  5. Thank you for such sweet words. You know the first was hard for me, but baby's safety comes first. I came back determined for vaginal with my second. Yet again, some things are not meant to be. Many tears were shed, but with amazing support, I absolutely love his birth story. Thank you for being there with us and for us.

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