Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Should I embrace being called the epi-doula....

I am so annoyed. Okay, so yes I am a doula, and of course I believe in natural birth. Some of you may not even be aware of the fact that I gave birth to each of my children naturally. However, I still have not recovered from the rapid birth of my youngest.
It is funny because he came the quickest, and the recovery was the longest, emotionally anyway.  I am not a believer in telling birth stories to frighten others, so please be reminded that this was part of my journey, and I do not want it to scare anyone....
I was 4centimeters dialated for nearly 3 weeks and I was scared to leave my house. I was petrified that my water would break at Target and I would just have to lie down in the paper goods isle and pull off my pants while shoppers rubber necked to catch a glimpse of what has become so dramatic, but truly is just as normal as having a bowel movement....
I asked, more like begged, my Obstetrician to induce me....STOP THE PRESS, yes the doula said the 'I' word.  I really wanted my labor to start in a controled enviornment, does that really make me such a hypocrite?  I have been educating woman on the dangers of elective inductions for years....and still here I was begging.....
"Ok", my doctor finally said. "If you are still pregnant on Monday, we will break your bag of water".

Monday came and I was still pregnant. I headed to the hospital for 8am check-in. My doctor came and greeted me, as I signed all the consent forms and answered all the questions, "yes, I have electricity, yes I have a car seat, no I don't want an IV" etc.
Dr. E, said he would go across the street to his office to see patients and come check on me at lunch, if I didn't need him sooner.  He went ahead and artificially ruptured my membranes (broke the bags of water), by now it was close to 9am, and hurried off to his office.

Let me remind you, or educate you, contractions are  supposed to be gradual and intermittent. I have taught this for years....and it was a FAT LIE!!! 


Imagine that early labor is the green, active is orange, and red is transition. Transition is the hard part, shortest, but hardest. The green is the walk before the run, orange the jog, and red the sprint......

My body took off at the sprint. I had no build up, no time to gain control, or to relax.

9am my water broke, 9:18am my son was born. Caught by the nurse and my friend, Marci.

I could not even believe he was here. I felt as though I had just ridden a roller coaster one handed, flying from my seat.

This is my only birth I think I may have "needed" an epidural.

If you read my article in Dallas Child Magazine, you know I believe there is a difference between pain and suffering. Pain is purposeful, and manageable....suffering is neither. 

So, this is the picture that annoyed me. What annoys me isn't the statement, or the picture itself....what annoys me is the judgement it implys, or creates.  So do the women who chose medicated births 'regret' their births? Umm, NO!!! Of course they don't regret the birth of their baby and if they do, I think it has more to do with medication or no medication.....

I have been a part of so many births, do the medicated births mean less in my opinion....ABSOLUTLEY not!

I embrace it! Yes, I believe in epidurals when needed, even inductions when needed (or in some cases wanted), I also believe in educating, supporting, and empowering women so much that no matter what path they choose in labor, they do it without judgement, and without fear!

Women are powerful people and no two mother's are ever born the same.



3 comments:

  1. This was so wonderful, Melissa. Thanks for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you. It makes me sad how some mother's feel like they "failed" if they decided on an epidural... As a mother and woman my greatest wish is that women would "own" there experiences, after all, without them how could we ever really know our true strength?!! <3

      Delete
  2. I think this is interesting. I think I am definitely one of the mothers who feels like I "failed" because with my first there were so many things happening so fast that I opted for the epi. I was never devastated, but for the past 18 months have been determined that I was going to do it all natural the next time. I really think when I had my 2nd baby completely naturally (not even a heplock) that there was a lot of redemption for me in that experience. If I had not had my 2nd naturally I certainly would have been devastated for failing yet again, but failure was not an option this around. I no longer 'regret' having an epi with my first, now I see it as a step in my journey that I had to go through so I could begin to become a strong momma.

    ReplyDelete